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Juliana, Pain, Rebirth and a day of YES

My beloved daughter, Juliana is 8 today. #JulianaisGr8 ๐ŸŽ‚ ๐Ÿฅณ ๐ŸŽ‰

She's full of sass, unique, quirky, and always up for a good time.

Since I'm too psycho about money to waste a day of a pricey investment in a weeklong camp, I always make her stay at camp on her birthday. #supermom

But this year, I made sure we had a FULL Day of YES for her last Sunday.

She wants a donut for breakfast? ๐Ÿฉ Sure! Go swimming? ๐ŸŠโ€โ™‚๏ธ Why not? Get in the cold-ass pool in the rain with her? (ffffff*****ck) ๐Ÿฅถ Fine, I'll do it.

Natural history museum? ๐Ÿฆ– Yes. Ice cream? ๐Ÿฆ Sure. Nails? ๐Ÿ’… Yup. Favorite pizza place? ๐Ÿ• It's your day! Watch movies and snuggle? ๐Ÿฟ ๐Ÿฅฐ Absolutely.

I know we ADORE and cherish our children. And the children we work REALLY hard for, they have an extra special soft spot in our hearts. ๐Ÿซถ

Juliana came by way of IVF and her birth was nothing short of miraculous - and COMPLETELY different from her older brother's birth. If you dig birth stories, this one is a doozy.

When I did my first round of psychedelic-assisted therapy, I saw vivid imagery of the power between Juliana and myself. We are deeply connected.

I could SEE it and FEEL the connection and our strength in every cell of my body. I saw the entire lineage on my mother's side of all women. It was strong and fierce. Almost like lionesses. ๐Ÿฆ And it was so clear, we were a force for good. ๐Ÿ’ช

What a gift to be able to have a vision of your family's deep strength to hold onto when you aren't so steady.

Juliana has had a weird year. I've DEFINITELY had a weird year. We are both growing and evolving out of our containers.

As a mother, you always think about equipping your children better than you were.

At 48, I'm hurting. I wish I learned lessons earlier but I'm right in the middle of it now.

As I continue to excavate all the layers of pressure, expectations, and WEIGHT of being someone I no longer am, what's left?

My intense hope that is Juliana turns 8, she knows her worth is not tied to any achievement or anything she does. She just is...well, she's Gr8!

And for me, I'm going through the painful process of rebirth.

INVITATION: Check on your strong friends. They have trouble asking for help when they are hurting. And while you're looking out for others, who can YOU give a Day of Yes to? Can you give yourself a Day of YES? (hmu if you do! I want to hear about it)

I wasn't going to even record this episode - it was waaaay too personal. But something in my gut said "do it."

My relentless efforts to produce perfect, clear, concise content gave way to shining a light on my personal life that I couldn't ignore and must address.

So here goes nothing. I may NEVER do this again. And I'm even having trouble writing this post and admitting what I've had on my heart. ๐Ÿ’œ

LISTEN HERE: EP187: I'm hurting

Happy birthday to my sweet, precious girl, Juliana. ๐Ÿฉท ๐Ÿ’– ๐Ÿ’˜ May you always know how much you are loved.



P.S. The BEST way to accelerate your growth is with a supportive community - especially when you're going through transitions. I've created THE MOST effective one here.

P.P.S. Now THIS is a company doing the right thing. Please support them!

P.P.P.S. "If you're not willing to take the risk, you forfeit the miracle." - Mark Batterson by way of AJ Vaden. I'm betting on the miracle.

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