I might finally let my lash extensions just...go.
I grew out all of my hair smoothing treatment so my natural ugly-ass frizz is pitifully donning my head. My unruly curls just laugh at my flat iron so I'm trying to figure out how to style it.
I wear a lot less make-up (mostly because my lashes could trick me into not needing as much).
I keep hearing the sentence in my head "so you're just going to let yourself go now?"
So shallow, right? I mean, I debated whether to even publicly admit this when there are MUCH bigger problems to deal with in the world. This isn't worthy of attention, right?
But I also know that the cultural pull to stay looking youthful is intense.
So much so, that a lot of the self-talk is fueled by what I see staring back at me in the mirror.
And that self-talk is part of the reason why so many suffer from anxiety and depression.
Failure to live up to cultural expectations - whether they are around what is deemed beautiful or worthy.
And leaving my job last April - there are some practical choices that are much smarter in the long run - to conserve as much money as possible until I turn the money faucet back on again in a new form.
When I expressed my concern for scaling back some of the "necessary" upkeep/maintenance, my therapist asked - what are you afraid to see?
I didn't want to see my face looking tired...or old. I don't feel either.
But I have been super afraid to just be who I am naturally.
The bright lipsticks and neon colors I choose to wear is to create an illusion of vibrance, confidence, and joy. I do love wearing brights.
Without it, I'm afraid I will blend in.
So while you might be rolling your eyes as you read this, wondering why this shallow preoccupation with external appearances is what I am writing about ... 🙄
I do think it's something many of us really struggle with...silently.
And how much of these seemingly superficial fears run so so deep, that if we were to truly heal our own self-worth - even with the way we look, could we be better as a society?
I will not go grey. I love my botox and fillers.
But I often admire and wonder how people have the courage to embrace natural aging.
I'm just not there yet.
If you just can't get enough of the vulnerable shares, we revisited the conversation of the complicated and often shame-filled mess of adult friendships.
It is hard to make friends as adults, right? Much harder than anyone would readily admit.
I got certified friendship coach (yep, it's a thing), Danielle Bayard Jackson, answering all of the friendship questions you never knew you could ask.
P.S. I don't think I'm ready for this. Did you know that there's so much CGI, it delayed the release?
P.P.P.S. What's been on your mind lately? I've got something brewing for the future of this podcast and would love your input of what's been occupying your brain or topics you'd love to dive deeper into. So reply back and let me hear it!