"I look fat today."
"I suck at this."
"Ugh, I'm such an idiot."
"Sorry for being emotional."
"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."
"Good thing she gets her looks from her dad." -when someone says your baby is cute.
"I'm such a hot mess."
"I'm just a mom."
"Don't look at my nails. They're a mess." (srsly, why do we apologize for this?)
"I ate too much, I'm bloated, and look awful in everything."
"I can barely function as an adult."
"Oh I just walk/run." - after being congratulated for finishing a marathon.
"Every blind squirrel finds a nut." - After closing a big deal.
"I'm so lazy."
"I'm an old bag."
Ugh - it goes on and on, doesn't it?
Yet absolutely NONE of this is helpful in any way.
In fact, these unhelpful put-downs pushes you down further and stunt any potential growth.
So why do we punish ourselves?
I made a decision a long time ago that I would NEVER apologize for anything related to my existence.
It was too disempowering. And especially as a woman, we need to rewrite a new story for ourselves. And for our children to model.
Take up space and reach out to lift other women and bring them with us.
INVITATION: Catch yourself the moment any utterance of an unhelpful critical comment creeps in.
Don't judge it. Just notice it. As you practice this, replace with something healthier and more compassionate....like "I'm doing my best" and "I'm thankful my body is supporting and protecting me" and "I wonder what I can discover by trying again."
What else has worked for you? Email me back and let me know.
I could do 1000 TedTalks on this topic so if you ever need to be set straight, I'm ya girl!
And speaking about writing a new story, I have been impatiently waiting for this week's episode to come out. I got to interview Frieda Vizel, a Hasidic Jew who packed up her son, left her husband, and left the faith and community.
Today, she gives tours of the Hasidic section of Brooklyn and is on a mission to de-exoticize the culture. My jaw was ON THE FLOOR during the whole interview. It was utterly fascinating and I walked away with some strong opinions about it.
P.S. Can you do me a QUICK solid and click on this link and listen for a minute or two? I was asked to promote this amazing and important new podcast in exchange for promotion on the PUSHKIN PODCAST NETWORK (Malcolm Gladwell's - EEEK)! But it's in direct proportion to how many downloads I get so this will mean a lot. If you're feeling extra generous, please click on this link, too.
P.P.S. Damn! If you are looking for a great true crime podcast, I crushed this one and couldn't stop. x
P.P.P.S. My friend Sarah Edmondson is featured in SEASON 2 OF THE VOW which is now out! You know my cult enthusiast-heart is loving this follow-up to the expose on the NXIVM cult. It's beyond bananas and worth every minute!
P.P.P.P.S. Get the eps ad-free and early here. Plus, you'll get extra points to Heaven for supporting an independent podcaster (that's me!).